Relocation Issues for Kids
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Every year, one out of five American
families move. One of the most important issues to anyone with kids is
their reaction to the news that they're moving, and their adjustment to
the new home. Being informed is very important to children. One of the
worst mistakes we can make as adults is to assume that kids don't care
or won't understand the details. keeping them "in the loop," consulting
them about choices whenever possible, and including them in the family
game plan will work wonders toward their adjustment.
Other factors depend on the child's age:
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Preschool Children
Kids under the age of six may worry about being left behind, or being
separated from their parents. If you go on an orientation or
house-hunting trip beforehand without the children, it's important to
reassure kids this age that you will be back; bring something unique
back to them from the new town. It's very important for them to
express their feelings and fears about the move. Give them a job to do
-- have them be responsible for boxing up their favorite toys, and
"labeling" their boxes with crayons and stickers.
-
Ages 6 to 12
Elementary age kids are usually most concerned with how the everyday
routines of their lives are going to change. Showing them pictures,
videos and magazines of their new home will help a lot, especially if
you can find new places in advance for the things they like to do. If
your children take dance lessons, find and share information about the
new dance studio they can go to. If they take karate, or play
soccer...even if their favorite thing to do is go to the park or the
pizza parlor, find these places in your new neighborhood and get
brochures, pictures or videos.
-
Teenagers
These kids are most concerned with fitting in. They may react angrily
to the move, even insist they're not going. This is usually due to the
total lack of control they have over everything important in their
lives, friends, school and jobs, being disrupted. These children can
be very worried about making new friends, and what will be different
in the new school. They are curious about the clothing, hairstyles,
bicycles, cars, etc. that kids in the new city will have. Pictures of
all these things are very helpful, so if you take an orientation trip
be sure to take many detailed photos/videos of the schools they will
be attending.
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Other tips for making the transition
- Give young children an entertaining
travel kit for the move.
- Give older children a diary for
recording the trip and move.
- Give children of all ages a special
address book and stationary set for keeping up with old friends.
Take videos of the new home if the
kids won't get to see it before the move. Arrive well before the
movers so kids can explore and become acquainted first.
Give children a chore to do, such as
working on their room (younger), supervising little siblings
(middle), and painting or arranging furniture (older kids).
Take a break with the family as soon
as possible to explore the museums, sights and recreation in your
new city.
Arrange a visit to new schools and a
meeting with the teacher before the actual first day of attendance.
Encourage the children to bring new
friends home.
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